31: Is Your Business Bringing You Joy? With Emily Aborn

Behind Their Success: Ep 31

Emily Aborn: [00:00:00] wWhy am I living my entire life doing something that is just like, so not what I wanted at all. And this is just case in point. Like we don't know when our last moment is going to be. We have to take those steps to find ways to, like, make ourselves enjoy it more. 

Welcome to Behind Their Success. This podcast is for people who are feeling stuck on their entrepreneur journey or in their careers. It's for people who want to scale and grow their businesses, learn about the power of mindset, or they just know there's more out there and they want to start making changes.

I'm Peyton Squires, the host of the podcast. I was never cut out to be an employee, and when I was an employee, I was bored out of my mind. So I made a plan. I studied and passed the CPA exam in eight months while working, all with the end goal in mind of quitting my job and starting my own business. I did that in 2014, and it has been an amazing wild ride since.

So now let's hear from other entrepreneurs, and what mindsets, and probably more important, what [00:01:00] actions they have taken that have created and led to their success. 

Paden Squires: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Behind Their Success podcast. I'm Peyton Squires, the host, and today we have on Emily Aborn. Emily is a content copywriter, a podcast host, and a speaker. In all of these avenues, she helps small business owners bring their message to life by sharing what sets them apart.

Paden Squires: She provides information and resources through her podcast, speaking, and strategy sessions. Emily, welcome to the show. 

Emily Aborn: Thank you. Thanks for having me, Peyton. 

Paden Squires: Yeah, absolutely, Emily. So give us, a little bit about your background or what you're currently doing 

Emily Aborn: Okay. So I am a copywriter, which means,a lot of people think it's like that little C with the circle as you know, that stamps on publications.

Emily Aborn: It's not that it's actually like writing copy for things like websites and blogs and different marketing materials that need those quippy one liners. so that's what I focus on. That's my bread and butter, so to speak. [00:02:00] Um, and to be truthful, I've had many things prior to this. Like now I am the most focused I have ever been, in my entrepreneurial journey.

Emily Aborn: I've owned a brick and mortar as well as an online kind of membership business. And now, and that also had events and things like that. And now I'm really focused on copywriting. And helping to guide people within the context of content creation, marketing, and visibility.

Paden Squires: Very cool. Very cool. you're entrepreneurial spirit, right? so give us our background. Like where were you from? Where'd you come from? Like that journey a little bit. 

Emily Aborn: Super fun. Okay. Honestly, I think I am legit one of those people who's wanted to be an entrepreneur since I was a little kid.

Emily Aborn: so I was born in Maine, raised in New Hampshire. We moved there at like when I was about nine or 10. and from the moment, my first lemonade stand, I think was really where it all [00:03:00] started. And it just kept on, you know what, actually it was before that. Because I had a little town newspaper. I would hand write and deliver and create and sell for like 50 cents a newspaper, you know?

Emily Aborn: So I've just always really, really had that in me and have. I started little businesses my entire life that said, I don't know why, but I went to school for health education. Like I just was really interested. I was the kid that was like always reading the back of the cereal box and like, Ooh, here's all the ingredients and things like that.

Emily Aborn: I just got really interested in things like biology and health in school. So I decided, I'm going to be a health teacher. So I went to school for health education, community health education. And I don't know, there were a lot of signs in that journey that like, maybe you should pursue something bigger, like communications or sociology or psychology or something else.

Emily Aborn: And I just kept going along [00:04:00] that health track. I just followed that vein for I think a decade and then finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I was working for somebody and you just, it was, she was like the kind of person that you could not be in her presence without doing what you wanted to do with your life.

Emily Aborn: Like she was so positive and inspiring and happy with her dream that you're like, I can't work for you anymore. I'm done. feeling miserable and like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. So my husband and I actually, we opened a retail shop and I still felt that I had to use this like a health degree that I had acquired and was doing nothing with.

Emily Aborn: So, how the shop was focused on like, It's healthy sleep products and non toxic things like that. So that was like my first foray into entrepreneurship. And it was really, it's just such a differentiation of how I [00:05:00] started this business. Like we crossed every I, nope, crossed every T, dotted every I, like we had our ducks in a row.

Emily Aborn: We had to like a present to a bank and get a loan and get rent and redo the entire building. So we had a business plan, a huge marketing plan. Like every single box was checked when I opened that business. Conversely, when we decided to make the shift away from that, I had to figure out like, what am I doing with my life?

Emily Aborn: I don't, I thought that I was going to be doing this until I was 60. I had to put all my eggs in that basket. So I had to figure things out. And I Messily, like I got my real estate license and then I was like, Oh no. I don't care for this. then I just took whatever came my way.

Emily Aborn: Like I took on a lot of things for my entrepreneurial friends that they needed help with. And it was really like a really. a messy process to find what was really, had been [00:06:00] inside me all along and I probably should have been pursuing it all along. So that's sort of the story in a nutshell, not so nutshell.

Paden Squires: yeah, that's a good story. And I don't know, I wouldn't say a typical story, but like a story of, You knew you were entrepreneurship, but you take that kind of winding route, right? Obviously, you know,you have no idea what you're doing or what you even want.

Paden Squires: Like most people, they don't have enough self awareness to even have what they want. So it's good that you found that winding trail and,I guess, just kept pursuing it. 

Emily Aborn: Yeah. If only I had just stuck with writing the newspaper, you know, we would have been all good. Much shorter track. Yeah.

Emily Aborn: Exactly. You 

Paden Squires: now, when I look back on different things I've done and things I've been involved in, you look back and they weren't bad, but maybe less focused and, there's all lessons to be learned from that stuff and they help you and maybe along the way, but. yeah, it's hard for anybody that's had some level of success to look back and see man, I could have done that a whole lot better if I knew what I 

Emily Aborn: knew.[00:07:00] 

Emily Aborn: Yeah, agreed. I don't have any regrets, like you said, but then sometimes, because you know what the thing with regrets is, like, if you change one little thing, you actually end up changing everything. life is so dependent on, a series of, Fine events, right? So you do change one little tiny thing and who knows, you change the entire trajectory of,it could be tons of people that you change the trajectory of.

Emily Aborn: So it doesn't serve us to have regrets. I think it's just lessons for its information and lessons that we can share with other people. 

Paden Squires: Yeah. Yeah. He's talking about the butterfly effect there a little bit. You never know where your actions actually end up leading to. What do you think is your best skill?

Paden Squires: What's led to your success to this point? 

Emily Aborn: you know what? I was having dinner with some friends last night and I was like watching the dynamics of the group. It was a larger group where there were eight of us. and I was thinking about just how much I really loved all of the people at the table.

Emily Aborn: And I could [00:08:00] sense that there were some that maybe like they were like, Holding a distance from each other. Maybe they weren't as crazy about people. I am a very welcoming person. And I think that has really helped me throughout all of my business ventures. it's translated into being able to read people and understand people well, also communicate what they're trying to say more clearly,

Emily Aborn: And then I like having really good customer service. So welcoming is a, it's a soft skill, but I think it is one of my, one of my strongest skills that has served me throughout my life.

Emily Aborn: Like I just really don't judge people. I just kind of like everybody's welcome. And it has served me really, really well. 

Paden Squires: Yeah, so knowing you all for 15 minutes, I can see that and confirm that on you, right? I can tell, I use a personality test a lot called Culture Index, and I'm sitting here trying to profile you while you're talking.

Paden Squires: Oh, 

Emily Aborn: Now I have to look that up. I'm obsessed with personality tests. [00:09:00] And 

Paden Squires: what I'm getting from you is there's a B trait, which is like social ability and being able to read people and all those types of things. And I bet that would be your leading trait. 

Emily Aborn: If I was a proper millennial, I'd blame my childhood for that.

Paden Squires: The fact is it is like you actually go back and look like, it is really all based off experiences we did have as a child, but it really does. Those experiences lock into you when you're a little younger and you can alter them to some degree, but. Not really. 

Emily Aborn: Yeah. I'm very into personality tests and especially, recently in the past four years, five years, the Enneagram, I just think the Enneagram is great because it offers you so much growth and insight and self awareness.

Emily Aborn: but my parents had this book called the personality tree when I was a little kid. In that book, there's only four types. Phlegmatic, melancholy, Twincoly? Yes, melancholy. I have a brother who's that. choleric, and then there's one [00:10:00] more. I can't remember them all.

Emily Aborn: But I would read that book and be like, I'm not O sanguine. I'd be like, I'm not any of these perfectly. Like, what's wrong with me? Because there's only four. Four and they tell you basically you fit into one of these four boxes. Yeah. Not very 

Paden Squires: refined. 

Emily Aborn: Yeah. I think there's 

Paden Squires: 19 or 20 like main profiles.

Paden Squires: yeah, we 

Emily Aborn: need some space. 

Paden Squires: yeah. So it gets a little more fine tuned for sure.

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Paden Squires: so you're outgoing, your personality, getting, being able to work and communicate with people. It seems to be your superpower. What's the best decision you've made? Oh, 

Emily Aborn: I have such a good answer for this.

Emily Aborn: So it goes hand in hand with what I just said. So I'm not the kind of person. Who will go out of my way to introduce myself to somebody or let's say I'm at a social event I be like, oh somebody please approach me because I don't want to approach you So I am social but I don't go out of my way to connect with people.

Emily Aborn: I'll say that I would just lock myself in my office and sit behind my computer and write all day. [00:12:00] Okay. So I was actually doing that in my retail shop. Like I was just in my shop all day long. I worked five days a week and even on the days I didn't work, I was like going to the store and cleaning the store or doing something for the store or going on deliveries for the store.

Emily Aborn: I was always working. And so I just locked myself in these four walls and never really talked to anybody except people in my little plaza that I worked in and my friends, obviously. But, so I sat down with a business mentor. We were looking to sell our business. And so I wanted to see my options.

Emily Aborn: And also I had to decide what I was doing next with my life. So I sat down with a business mentor and she was like, Emily, You really need to rewind to five years ago when you first started this business and put yourself in those baby brand new business owner pants. And she's like, and go meet people.

Emily Aborn: And I was just like, Oh, okay. So that is the best decision I ever made was to take a [00:13:00] couple steps out that door and start meeting people. Because what I found was a lot of other entrepreneurs, which I'm sure you experienced as well. People are in the same boat, they're experiencing the same things we do.

Emily Aborn: I just had a friend, one of my friends last night, she's like, I feel so unsuccessful and insignificant compared to what other people are doing. And I'm like, are you kidding? I look at you and I think you are so successful. And you have this 20 hour work week somehow that I wish I had. So that's the kind of conversations I started having with people and really realizing like, Hey, we're all in this together.

Emily Aborn: Let's talk about this. So that was the best decision I ever made. Open up my world. my network really expanded from there. And like it had nothing to do with my store, honestly. no more people bought betting products. It wasn't about that. It was just for me about getting out of my own way and going to make the connections for myself.

Emily Aborn: and I thought of clever ways to do it. Like I [00:14:00] wrote a blog for local business owners. So I would say, I'm going to write a blog on you. So I'm going to come into your location, take photos, and interview you. And then it was like, I was Right. So then I was doing them a service and it's not just like, okay, let's have a coffee chat or have a conversation.

Emily Aborn: Like it was really benefiting them. So I still do that now with my current chamber. It's just in a less, it's like in a less, I need to go to their business kind of way. Well, yeah, I 

Paden Squires: mean, and you get to a certain point where it's like, yeah, you need to, yeah. do some things differently or you don't need to necessarily do the things you did before.

Paden Squires: but I wondered, you know, going back to what you said, you spent those times kind of locked in your retail office by yourself. I wonder how happy

Emily Aborn: Oh, I was not happy 

Paden Squires: because seeing you and your outgoingness and your ability to talk to people like You get energy from them. 

Emily Aborn: Yeah, that store was really, I mean, that was part of why we made the decision to close it.

Emily Aborn: Like I was so unhappy. In fact, I had a best friend who, she called me one day [00:15:00] from work and she was a nurse and she was like she locked herself in like a cleaning closet and she called me and she's just crying her eyes out. She's like, I have to get out of here.

Emily Aborn: Like the, Specific ward she was working in was terrible and funny enough when she called me I was in my office at my shop being like, yeah, I gotta get out of here too. So the really tragic thing is my friend was, we were both young and she passed away. and so I just made, that was like my wake up call.

Emily Aborn: It's really sad that is what it took, but I was like, Oh, why am I living my entire life doing something that is just like, so not what I wanted at all. And this is just case in point. Like we don't know when our last moment is going to be. We have to take those steps to find ways to, like, make ourselves enjoy it more.

Paden Squires: Yeah. Yeah, that's great. you said, the best decision you made, is putting yourself out there. And once you put yourself out there, I think you probably really saw it as, wow, I'm actually really [00:16:00] good at this. And you got more confidence in it and it becomes easier and you get better and all those things.

Paden Squires: on the flip side, what's a big mistake you've made? 

Emily Aborn: um, 

Emily Aborn: That's a great question. It's not that I have not made mistakes. I have made many failures. Okay. You know what? I have a perfect one. It applies to every single thing that I do. So a lot of times I don't know how I feel about something until I try it or do it for myself. And that has gotten me into a lot of situations where I'm like, Oh my God, what am I like?

Emily Aborn: I'm way down this path. And now I'm realizing like this is awful and not at all what I wanted. And some of that has also come from when you're uncomfortable or in pain as a business owner, you just want a fast solution. Like you just want, like, get me out of this. And sometimes I would get.

Emily Aborn: I would like, I'm like a polar, like I'm like, what do you think of this? What do you think of this? What do you think of this? What do you think of this? And yes, I'll ask every single other [00:17:00] person around me and see what they have to say and then make decisions based on that. And that has really not served me in business decisions.

Emily Aborn: And then I go down these paths and I'm like, now I hate it because I'm just following somebody else's vision for what I should be doing. That would be my biggest mistake is just not getting really clear on that internal. Like my values, first of all, and my own vision. What do I really want for where I'm going?

Emily Aborn: What does that look like? Is scaling something that's important to me? like what does this really look like? Yeah. 

Paden Squires: Yeah. And that's, specificity and getting really clear on everything is almost a superpower in today's world with distraction and whatnot.

Paden Squires: And, um, yeah, there's no way to, there's no way to get where you're going without getting super, super clear on it.what's one piece of advice you'd tell your younger self 2014? 

Emily Aborn: I would say pick up some books and read them.

Emily Aborn: Like I spent a lot of time in that store just sitting around feeling miserable for [00:18:00] myself and I could have been reading and listening to podcasts and like, those are things I love to do and ways I love to do it. Picking up knowledge or just having fun, reading a fiction book, girlfriend.

Emily Aborn: So that's a piece of advice I would have given that person. 

Paden Squires: do you read a lot of fiction books? 

Emily Aborn: Yeah, I don't read a lot. I used to read solely like self help and like personal development. And then I was just like, Oh my God, I'm not getting better. So I just started.

Emily Aborn: Reading fiction. And you know what? I am actually getting better. so it, yeah. 

Paden Squires: there's so many people like in the self help world or people that have they start that journey a little bit and they just sit there and get, just, okay, the next book or the next piece of information and they're just sitting there acquiring information over and over again and not necessarily ever taking any actions.

Paden Squires: Right.and also with the fiction books,I'm kind of that nerd or that guy that's yeah, I watch documentaries and something that I see is like useful, useful in my life. But there's something to be said for fiction stuff and [00:19:00] stories and to be able to like stories or how we all communicate and be able to, I can appreciate film and art in ways that I probably never could before or like the story behind it and what it means.

Emily Aborn: And to your point, documentaries and podcasts that were about things like that was where I was like, Nope, nope, I don't listen to those. So now shifting to reading fiction, I take in a lot more stuff like through a documentary or through a podcast that's like informational, and I love it.

Emily Aborn: I think maybe it's easier for me to hear that kind of thing than, be reading it. Whereas fiction, I can like, I can't listen to fiction. I'm like, I can't track this, so I have to be reading it. 

Paden Squires: Yeah, I guess I did get way down that self development track.

Paden Squires: It's I don't even read books, as in,I, I probably read 50 books a year, but it's all through Audible. I do have a couple of books that sometimes, like I'll occasionally have a book physically, but. I would say 98 percent of the stuff I read is on Audible.

Emily Aborn: [00:20:00] Interesting. So maybe that's why it works better for you, that it's like self help y. 

Paden Squires: Yeah. And it, like knowing my profile, I'm impatient, I need to move fast and get things done. And that's the Audible, it's just like I see it as an efficiency tool.

Paden Squires: It's like, Hey, you can listen to this book. And half the time, and and obviously, you can speed it up, but you obviously don't want to speed up the audio where you're not comprehending anything, people even take that to a degree where it's like, it's some like badge of honor to read a million books in a year, but what are you actually doing with any of it? 

Emily Aborn: yeah, can I ask more about your profile and the whole typing system? Yeah, 

Paden Squires: yeah. Yeah, so,I'm what's called a coordinator. my autonomy, so that is,how self reliant or self confident you are. I'm actually statistically just barely above the line. I'm really middle of the road on autonomy.

Paden Squires: my B is super high, so that's social ability. Yeah. My B is my leading trait, my ability to communicate and talk with people. My C is [00:21:00] super low. That is like the pace somebody works at. So I work at a, being low is Like I work at a quick pace. D is how detailed a person is. My details are really high as well.

Paden Squires: So I have a really high social, really high detail. I'm an accountant by trade. And then my logic there, there's a scale measuring the logic, which is like how emotive versus logical people think through problems. I'm a nine on that. So like almost zero emotion. It's all logic. 

Emily Aborn: Wow. 

Paden Squires: So that's me.

Paden Squires: My guess is you're something like Close. I don't think you'd have a super high A. You have a super high B. I'm not sure about your C or your detail level, but I know the B is still an eating trait. 

Emily Aborn: But I think I'd, I overthink, but I do think I make a lot of my decisions with emotions. 

Paden Squires: you very well may be a coordinator profile, having that high B is an eating trait. Yeah. That's cool. 

Emily Aborn: so I want to know about you, you said you're a CPA?

Paden Squires: [00:22:00] Yeah. 

Emily Aborn: Yeah. Okay. So how, so do you do that locally or like? Um, everywhere. 

Paden Squires: yeah, so yeah, I have my own firm, and work all over the country with people. So I'm a CPA and also a CFP. Awesome. And work with clients all over the country with tax and oil stuff. 

Emily Aborn: That is not a job I would wish upon myself.

Paden Squires: I don't know if you know anything about my background or whatever. Money is something I've always been interested in. it's always been a tool, in security to me. So that's what really got me into that world. And, I grab ahold of something and I get really into the details and I've been basically learning about that world since I was 18 years old.

Emily Aborn: So now I have to ask like what your money story was as a kid or growing 

Paden Squires: up. Yeah. single mom, dad in and out of the picture. And that created some financial insecurity. I didn't want to be poor. In a nutshell, that's the whole story. 

Emily Aborn: It's so interesting how, in a weird way, like it, it is a frustrating [00:23:00] way to grow up.

Emily Aborn: and I think that it really does help us as adults to be so much more careful and financially savvy when we come from that background, because we're like, I never want to go through that again, or I don't want to be in the position where I'm in the grocery line. blaming my kids for how much they eat because of how much that receipt costs.

Paden Squires: Yeah. Yeah. I guess it took me a while to even figure out where it all came from. as you just become more and more self aware and you look back and you're like, okay, a lot of this makes sense. I really am just results of my circumstances in a lot of ways, but and that where you get into a debate of how much are we molded by our circumstances versus like free will choice.

Paden Squires: you get down that rabbit hole of, it's a chicken or an egg thing, kind of thing is what 

Emily Aborn: This is like my favorite topic. Okay, here's the fun one for you. So I have a biological father who was never in the picture. I didn't even actually know he existed until I was like 10 years old.

Emily Aborn: And I found, I started looking for him when [00:24:00] I was 21. and I think I've ended up finding him when I was 32 or 33. So when we finally met, it was fascinating. Like I was able to see nature and nurture you know what, I can only describe it. And anybody who has gone through this will understand what I mean.

Emily Aborn: But like, I never could see even my face. Like I would look at my face in the mirror and be like, it doesn't feel connected to my head or my body. Like it felt like something was wrong with me my entire life. When I met him, I was like, Oh my gosh, like I'm able to see myself. It was crazy, but it was just such a good example of like, wow, this is nature.

Emily Aborn: This is nurture. Like these are the things about myself That we're just here to start and like, not just physical traits, but like even things we do with our tongue. Like it's so weird, like I put my tongue on the back of my teeth when I laugh and so does he. So it's just like really interesting things [00:25:00] like that, that, I thought it was like the, I mean, I love this conversation and free will and if you want to go there, we can go there too.

Paden Squires: What's a really interesting topic to think about,and that to me, it's a little humbling thinking about Oh, and you may think, Hey, you know, I've made good choices or I've done this and done that. And it's just not that simple, right?

Paden Squires: and to be able to, to judge or, to use anything like that, to judge anybody else. It's, Tumbling to realize maybe you just don't know what you're talking about. 

Emily Aborn: Okay, your next book, I have a recommendation for you, if you haven't already read it. Have you read Fluke by Brian Kloss?

Emily Aborn: I don't know that I have. 

Paden Squires: Okay, 

Emily Aborn: talk about butterfly effect, you are going to want to read that, literally down to the. The bomb that was dropped in Japan, just how micro of a situation that took place for that to happen. So you will love that book. 

Paden Squires: and the cool thing is [00:26:00] like, you look back to the Revolutionary War and there's a story about George Washington and his troops and they were stuck on the river bank somewhere up there around Washington or whatever.

Paden Squires: But, the British army had them surrounded and had them ready to crush and ready to take them out. They were toast and the wind that night, the British had to come up the river on the boat and the wind that night was blowing the wrong way and it gave them an extra day to get out of there. And, David McAuliffe, who's world renowned as like the number one, like American history guy says.

Paden Squires: This country would not have existed if the wind was blowing the other way that night. 

Emily Aborn: That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. I love this stuff. That's cool. 

Paden Squires: anything else you want to talk about, Emily? 

Paden Squires: I tell you, you know, listeners like what they hear from you.

Paden Squires: What's the best way they can connect with you or get to know you a little bit? 

Emily Aborn: Okay, if you have any interest in hearing more of the sound of my voice, I would like to invite you to come over to the content with a character podcast because I have a lot of fun over there. It is about content and marketing and [00:27:00] visibility, but I also talk about stuff that we do in those areas that I love.

Emily Aborn: Come from other places in our life, like people pleasing or perfectionism or procrastination, like all of the stuff that gets, you know, I sit down on strategy calls with people and we can map out the perfect strategy and plan for their content. And then there were like 20 other things that are actually holding them back.

Emily Aborn: So exactly. So we get into those topics and I have a lot of fun with it. I just let my curiosity guide me into where I'm going next. 

Paden Squires: Yeah. Very cool. Yeah, absolutely guys. Obviously Emily's very good at speaking on stuff. I would definitely check out her podcast. Emily, thank you for coming on.

Paden Squires: It's been a great convo. 

Emily Aborn: Thanks for having me. 

Paden Squires: Absolutely.

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. If you found it valuable, please rate, review, and share it. That is the best way to help us build this and reach more people as we're trying to accomplish our goal of help creating more healthy, wealthy, and wise entrepreneurs. [00:28:00] You can follow us on social media by searching for me, @padensquires Payton Squires, or going to www.padensquires.com on the website and social media, we're always sharing tips of personal growth, and there we can actually interact. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks guys.