19: The Real Work Is Within Yourself
Behind Their Success: Ep 19
[00:00:00]
Erin Patten: Our real work is on developing yourself.
Erin Patten: And if we're not doing that work, then we can say, f*** it to everything else in our lives, because we actually cannot show up. Fully in anything in our lives if we're not doing our self work
Hello, I'm Paden Squires, and I'm the host of the podcast. This podcast is for those who are dissatisfied with where they are at in their life and career currently. I used to be one. When I got out of college with my master's degree, I started working in banking. I eventually moved to a Fortune 500 company.
I quickly found out being an employee was not for me. I was bored out of my mind and did not like it whatsoever. Something eventually lit a fire under me. I started studying for the CPA exam, listening to podcasts, and reading books every day. By doing that, I had passed all four parts of the CPA exam in eight months and quit my job.
I opened up my own tax firm, having never been paid to do someone's taxes. That was in 2014. Since then, I've consistently grown my [00:01:00] business. Had a lot of success in other business ventures, including real estate, property management, among other things. And now, I'm looking for a new venture. I want to help inspire you and other entrepreneurs to achieve their potentials and dreams, as well as learn from the stories of these entrepreneurs, as to see what has gone well and what hasn't gone well for them.
Let's go create a bunch of healthy, wealthy, and wise entrepreneurs.
Paden Squires: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Behind Their Success podcast. I am Paden Squires, the host. Today, we have Erin Patten on. Her journey to life changing effects of metaphysics includes Harvard classrooms, where she got her master's in business and public policy, executive positions, and also grieving the loss of her father and friend all at once.
Paden Squires: Metaphysics very simply invites us to go beyond the world that we see to activate the divine within us and bring our full self everywhere we go. [00:02:00] She admits it might sound a little woo woo, but the practice leads to effective, efficient decision making and resilient workforces. She founded Erin Patten and Associates, where she serves as a metaphysical master who guides magnetic CEOs and extinguishes organizational dis-ease by working through emotional and spiritual roots of conflict to find balance.
Paden Squires: Aaron, good morning. Welcome to the podcast.
Erin Patten: Thank you so much. Good day to you too, Peyton. It is such an honor to be here with you and also with your audience members. it's just beautiful to um to be here. absolutely Aaron
Paden Squires: So, you know
Paden Squires: got a little bit of your background there. Give us some more detail there. Tell us about your journey.
Erin Patten: Yeah You I'm originally from Houston, Texas.
Erin Patten: and I actually live here now. I lost my father and my friend simultaneously. And I, and I have to be honest with myself and say that I lost my mother at all at that time too, because a few months after my dad passed away, my mom attempted suicide, she was dealing with.
Erin Patten: [00:03:00] And now she's in full stages of dementia and I am not sure if she knows who I am to be honest. And so,however, I do care for her full time. It's lovely having her around and being with her, but that's actually what brought me back to Houston about three years ago. And it was at that time that I like to say that my real education began because as you shared, I did go to Harvard.
Erin Patten: I got two masters from Harvard. I also went to University of Texas undergrad. I got two degrees from the University of Texas and I'm very academically accomplished. And when I was experiencing these. emotional setbacks, if you will, I was not prepared to deal with them at all. And you would think that there's a highly capable business person and achievers should be able to, manage these things, but it was fucking hard.
Erin Patten: And not only was it hard, it was just like, I wanted to die in the process. You know, it's like, I don't even want to deal with this. It was just so overwhelming. And [00:04:00] so that's when, like I said, my real education began and I started to study essentially metaphysical psychology. And psychology traditionally is the study of the mind.
Erin Patten: And metaphysical psychology is the study of my own mind. So I was really working, so I went to the University of Commissioned Sciences. I was working with other people. A small group of students and our professor, Dr. Phil Valentine, in exploring our own lives, our own decisions, our own choices through the lens of these very esoteric, if you will, universal principles, spiritual principles.
Erin Patten: And I did that for about two years in addition to doing yoga teacher training, which essentially was the integration of like the mind, the body and the soul.And then I graduated there to doing Tai Chi and ended up becoming a Tai Chi master, getting my designation in Korea. And all of that, while still launching what was then Aaron Patton Associates and now currently the Metta Business World [00:05:00] as the global pandemic was happening.
Erin Patten: Because I was growing sort of my own kind of spiritual education, metaphysical education, if you will, while a lot of folks around the world and especially in business were really struggling. And it just made sense that all of this work that I had been doing to really survive my own loneliness crisis, my own burnout, my own emotional, kind of, trauma.
Erin Patten: Was perfect for what people were experiencing during the pandemic. And today, to be honest in business. And so,that's when I launched my business in November, 2020. I got my first client a few months after that was the CEO of Frog Design, which is the design consultancy that designed Apple's first Macintosh.
Erin Patten: And then here I am today, working across organizations with individuals and really amplifying their businesses. And multiplying their value, their profitability, their mission, their vision with this integration, very specific integration [00:06:00] of spiritual principles, metaphysical principles, and what I call future compatible organizational design, because where we've been in the past with business is not compatible with the future.
Erin Patten: And, you know, as you know, And as I just spoke to, like how we've done business in the past, we've really, it's disease, people are burnt out, people are not. collaborating easily. There's so much dissension across ethnic groups, racial groups, gender groups, there's all these different classes and it's a lot of disconnection and really in order to move forward successfully as businesses, we have to not just be homogenous.
Erin Patten: We really have to be supportive and hold space for all these differences because they add tremendous value at the end of the day to companies. And so this is essentially a future forward thinking, and then working with organizations to actually implement structures and frameworks that can support and hold the space for these changes.
Paden Squires: So when you, you know, you go into these businesses, you're [00:07:00] trying to help them, I guess we're, work better as a team and relate better to each other. What is a common issue you see or some issue that you see repeated inside a lot of organizations?
Erin Patten: That's a great question. I was speaking just now about the collaboration issue and the communication. I feel like for me, that's just a fundamental problem across the board for adults. and fundamentally it starts with people not even knowing who they are. So to be able to communicate their truth and there's something about how we've been programmed to suppress how we truly feel and.
Erin Patten: Please people and do what we're told and that's very much the academic culture. I thrive in that culture and people tell me what to do and do it well and Essentially, that's how business continues to be run. So you have these grown adults that are essentially being Treated like children and parents and not really able to have agency and communicate how they [00:08:00] really feel about what's going on and what they see and what could be fixed and what, how can we do things better?
Erin Patten: There actually is not the proper communication channels within businesses to support these kinds of tensions, if you will.
Paden Squires: I would categorize myself definitely as a recovering people pleaser for sure. I'm the same thing.
Paden Squires: The guy that checks boxes academically. sure. I have all kinds of degrees, certifications. Like I'm really good at that kind of stuff, but you're right. It's the same thing where it's like, are you really doing this for yourself? Are you doing it out of your own motivations or your own self awareness, or are you doing that just to try not to upset other people?
Erin Patten: Yeah. And not just not upset other people. Like we're actually. Incentivize to follow the rules. Like you get bonuses based on goals. You hit, you get bonuses, you get raises, you get promotions based off how your managers and, or the guys above them see you and view you. So you're fundamentally [00:09:00] incentivized and motivated to do what they like so that you can move ahead.
Paden Squires: the problem probably only gets worse and worse as the size of the organization grows as more structure and things are put in place to keep people, processes and inboxes. That's a really tough thing to navigate. I'm sure as a, as an organization gets bigger and bigger.
Erin Patten: Yeah. And that's why, the work that I do, I'm really focused on working with leadership. I have to be honest. I know your audience members here are probably going on their own entrepreneurial journey or imagining how they could support companies in their own ways. However, for me, when I was starting off, I thought that I can do big organizational work.
Erin Patten: Like I can, it's going to be a top down, bottom up approach. And honestly, that's just, it's just too much for me to handle for me to hold in this space. especially for companies where there's 10, 000 people, that's a lot of people. So For me, I had to start to really refine. Okay, Aaron, how am I going to have the greatest impact doing what I love?
Erin Patten: And it's starting [00:10:00] to, evolve more into, for me, I thought leadership position and authority leadership position where I'm working specifically with senior leaders who, and that could comprise in larger organizations that can be likely less than a hundred people, and, or even less than that. of the executive leadership team.
Erin Patten: Usually it's 20, 25, 30, and then including the board members. And when you're focused on these people, because essentially everyone reports to these people, then I feel like that's where I'm able to have the greatest Transformation and the greatest impact because essentially as leaders, we hold a space, we direct the culture,we set the standards for how people will operate
Paden Squires: I've said this on other episodes and I guess out on social media, it's like, as the leader of the business or the organization, like you are the solution and the problem to everything and everything. bottleneck with you. Like the organization won't grow because of some area that you lack in. so being able to [00:11:00] work on yourself internally. And another thing we talk about all the time is 90 percent of the work to get what you want externally is actually done internally. all the work has to happen inside before anything's going to show up on the outside.
Erin Patten: That part. And literally that's all that I say this, like, first of all, every week on my podcast, I say this and so many times on my posts is that the real work, like we're business people, we go to work every day, but our real work is on developing yourself.
Erin Patten: And if we're not doing that work, then we can say, fuck it to everything else in our lives, because we actually cannot show up. Fully in anything in our lives if we're not doing our self work. We're gonna always be anxious. We're always frustrated. We're always quick to anger. We're not gonna be able To your point, have solutions, make resolutions, compromise.
Erin Patten: If we're not true and honest and open and working on ourselves.
Paden Squires: So you know,you've done a lot of different things, got a lot of different [00:12:00] degrees from impressed schools. What, what would you say is your, um, What is your best skill?
Erin Patten: I'm really loyal. And I don't want to say I'm at fault because it's just every experience is a lesson. Right. And I feel like my best skill is just my loyalty. I'm going to get emotional talking about this, but I grew up like my dad. It was like my best friend and that relationship and that.
Erin Patten: Feeling has morphed and changed, especially after his passing, because you know how life is as you grow up, you see your parents differently. And yet one thing that he used to always tell me growing up was that like, you have, like, I mean, he would use this word, but obviously I'm not a man, but he's like, you have to be a man of your word.
Erin Patten: Like I'm a man of my word. That's something that I. Truly live and die by. It's just if I say something, I'm going to do my best to show up for it. And if I'm not, I'm going to, I'm not flaking. I'm going to send a message. I'm going to call. I'm going to or if someone needs me, I'm there for [00:13:00] them.
Erin Patten: I'm just very loyal. And I also expect that from other people and I don't always get it in the same measure. Yeah. I do understand. everyone's at a different level of consciousness and everyone's on their own journey. So they can only show up as they can show up. Yeah. I feel like for me, that's one of my best skills.
Paden Squires: I don't know if you'd sum that up as integrity or if that's a word for that, but yeah, and it's, important to realize, and that's something that I try to, well, I do remind myself every day when I have a visualization I read every day, but I have in there, it's like people. Show up, based on their level of enlightenment, understand that, forgive that, right?
Paden Squires: you're talking about expecting the same level of loyalty or integrity back at you, but understand that everybody out there has all their own flaws and issues. And, that's gonna come in and affect you at some point.
Erin Patten: A hundred percent. So just
Paden Squires: being, yeah, just being able to hold that and understand that and try [00:14:00] to take a bigger view, almost like a third party view of that and forgive, honestly.
Paden Squires: So you've come along on your journey. What would you say is the best decision you've ever made Aaron?
Erin Patten: Probably left field for probably listeners, but I feel like the best decision I ever made was in 2012. I was applying to go to Harvard going through that process, 2011, 2010, 2011, and then 2012 was the year I was meant to enroll. And I decided to leave New York. Where I was living, I moved back to Houston.
Erin Patten: I worked for a few months here and then I went to Brazil. Like I spent three months in Brazil in Rio de Janeiro, specifically Rio de Janeiro. And that was the best decision I ever made in my life.I feel like. I met, to this day, some amazing people, like who I'm still communicating with. Actually, the friend that I speak to that was murdered after my dad passed was my roommate in Brazil.
Erin Patten: and I just was so free. Like how I probably feel [00:15:00] now after my spiritual, darkness of the soul, spiritual work, et cetera, et cetera. I had that vibration that entire summer. Like every day we woke up, it was a party. Like we didn't have shit to do. We literally went there to volunteer.
Erin Patten: Like I did volunteer. I did teach English. I taught hip hop dance. I did what I was supposed to do. However, the freedom and the playfulness that I experienced that summer.I get chills because I don't know. I'm probably sure I'm going to have great experiences for the rest of my life, but something about that a year, I don't know if I can recreate that energy.
Erin Patten: And, like going to the beach all the time, going down to Lapa, drinking caipirinhas, samba dancing, meeting people, traveling. We went to so many places, we went to Sao Paulo, I went to Bahia, I traveled all over the country. I've done a lot of travel. I've traveled to nearly 30 countries. Yet something about Brazil just [00:16:00] spoke to my soul.
Erin Patten: Yeah,
Paden Squires: just kind of lit you up. Yeah. And you know, I'm sure that was,
Erin Patten: Yeah.
Paden Squires: I don't, obviously I don't know all your background, but I'm sure that is, it was probably a lot of culture shock picking you up out of one area and throwing you in the other. And you learn, you certainly learn a lot of lessons, right?
Erin Patten: That part and coming, especially out of New York and before I was in New York, I was in school. So New York was such a serious, hardworking place. And then go to Rio where I like. Everyone's just drinking beer all day on the street. Like you said, culturally, it's just a different mode of being, a different mode of Saperandi.
Erin Patten: It was just people are so much chillier, so much happier. People just thought I was so beautiful. I felt so admired and loved and, Growing up in us, there was, especially in New York and I was working in fashion. I just had so many insecurities about my hair, about my body, about my butt, about everything.
Erin Patten: It was just like, everything was, critiqued if you will. [00:17:00] And, and that's part of my journey too. I always talk about my identity because I ended up starting a hair product company, based on my naturally curly hair, because of so many, Experiences I had accepting what I looked like.
Erin Patten: And this is, you know, part of the work that we're speaking to of self development is just accepting like, this is who I am. This is what I look like, and this is what I come with and being able to love every aspect. Yeah,
Paden Squires: That's great. That's good stuff. So I asked you what's your best decision you ever made.
Paden Squires: What's one of the biggest mistakes you've ever made?
Erin Patten: I feel like,hindsight is always 2020. So it's like, oh yeah, I can say it was a big mistake. But at the time, I felt like it was the right decision, yet I really felt like I could have made better choices when it came to a partner for my child's father.I felt like when I met my child's father, I was in a very low place.
Erin Patten: I had just moved back to Houston, to care for my mom.and at the end of 2018, beginning of 2019, [00:18:00] and within a few months of meeting him, I decided to get pregnant because I really wanted my own child and, now everyone's always like, Oh, are you going to have more kids? You didn't have more kids.
Erin Patten: And I was just like, I have to make sure I find the right partner who will be able to be there in the ways that I need a loving partner to be. because to this date, I'm still going through intense custody battles. I'm going through intense. legal issues related to a property we own and it's just, it couldn't have been any more.
Erin Patten: soul crushing experience partnering with this person. And, and I know a lot of people out there probably really, I noticed that the more and more I talk to people, like the, why I went through this experience, the more and more I see the challenges of marriages, of children, of dealing with like, for example, for example, my, I went through a CPS case.
Erin Patten: My child was taken from me because I was lied upon by people. conspired against me. Like it was, it can, it's out of a movie, [00:19:00] literally like what I went through with my child and what I'm still going through and it's really strengthened me, I have to say, it's the worst decision that of course, every decision turns to a blessing because I wouldn't be as, as.
Erin Patten: as I am today. I wouldn't be such a warrior, the warrior that I am today. I wouldn't be the mama bear energy that I am today. Had it not been for me learning how to fiercely protect my child, my interests and what I have going on in my life from someone who just wants to take and destroy me.
Paden Squires: Yeah. I mean, that's, you know, yeah, it's the truth where the cliche doesn't kill, you make it stronger.
Paden Squires: I mean, it's true, right? So every lesson We look back at it and assign it whether it's good or bad or what you have. And it's really,nothing is necessarily good or bad. It's just what we think about that makes it good or bad. And you can look at any experience and find the good in it and find what you think is the bad in it.
Paden Squires: But yeah, and, you know, relationship things. It's so, I don't know, I guess I was just purely lucky. I had no idea what I was doing and happened to marry a great woman. [00:20:00] We're both forward looking and willing to grow and develop together . It wasn't anything I did because at that point I had no idea what I was doing.
Paden Squires: but it's just, I guess I was just lucky and it worked out.
Erin Patten: Yeah, that's beautiful.
Paden Squires: Yeah. So looking back to your beginning of your journey, what is one piece of advice you would give yourself?
Erin Patten: I would just say, love myself more. And I know that also is very connected to our level of consciousness, so I couldn't expect myself to know any better yet. I just really wish I gave myself more grace and I do a little bit more of it now, a lot more of it now, and still have a long way to go with it.
Erin Patten: I shouldn't say I have a long way to go, but I just. Needed to love myself more and it's really hard as a, you know, and I'm going to take it here because it's just the truth, but as a woman, as a person of color, with all of these external noise, the external [00:21:00] pressure, external Pressures and also just what we hear from how we're supposed to be like, the minority conversations, the race conversations, the oppression of conversations, the judgment conversations, you know, all of our lives, like, I was watching, I was talking about this because I do some work with,Group of African Americans now, and they, as part of the video, they were showing, you know, black people getting trampled by dogs and water hose down.
Erin Patten: And I was like enough of this narrative, you know, and I just feel like so much of that programming affected me when it had nothing to do with me, at the end of the day, I'm me and those people are them. And that was their experience. And for me to just kind of start to take on all of this, You know, the traumas of other people's lives just because I look like someone or because I, I'm a woman, you know, it just, it creates, like you said, those undue pressures that really aren't mine.
Erin Patten: And So really having to work through that, heal through [00:22:00] that, has been, you know, a journey in learning how to love my, love me, like who's in this avatar, this is just how I showed up, you know,however, for nearly 40 years ago, yet I've been me, for eons, likely. And so I, and being able to acknowledge that, that truth and love who I am, despite how I may show up for other people is, it takes a lot of work and.
Erin Patten: The best piece of advice for me, I would just continue to just be like, I love you, Aaron. I love you, Aaron. You're doing great. just keep going. You're amazing. You're beautiful. All the things that I never would tell myself,cause I was hating on myself so hard,I think that would be, yeah,
Paden Squires: That's a great piece of advice.
Paden Squires: One, I certainly could, I would love to give my younger self as well. same kind of thing, you go back to the people pleasing and the different, all the different areas and the pressures you put on yourself that,you know, like I even, even personally think that, you know, I'm the kind of person that is much more even [00:23:00] understanding of other people.
Paden Squires: And I hold myself to such a high standard and beat up myself so much that, at some point it's not helpful, right. Helpful.
Erin Patten: Yeah. At all.
Paden Squires: and that may be a little strong language, but there's some truth to it, right? It's
Paden Squires: you're not giving yourself, like you said, that grace
Erin Patten: That
Paden Squires: you would maybe even give somebody else.
Paden Squires: Right.
Erin Patten: Exactly.
Paden Squires: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That's good stuff. So Eron, what's, what's the best way people can connect with you? They like what you say and what you got going on. What's, what's the best way they can get ahold of you?
Erin Patten: I would. Really love to hear from you on social media as @iamerinpatton across social media channels.
Erin Patten: and also you can go to my website,www.erinpatten.com E R I N P A T T E N. And you can learn more about me. You can learn more about my meta business methodology and how I serve organizations that can potentially serve you.
Paden Squires: Very cool, Aaron. Well, thank you for coming on the show today. Great conversation.
Paden Squires: I appreciate it. And, we'll just both keep working on ourselves.
Paden Squires: Audience, thank you. Appreciate you guys. we'll catch you on the [00:24:00] next episode.
Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. If you found it valuable, please rate, review, and share it. That is the best way to help us build this and reach more people as we're trying to accomplish our goal of helping create more healthy, wealthy, and wise entrepreneurs. You can follow us on social media by searching for me @padensquires,, or going to www.padensquires.com On the website and social media, we're always sharing tips of personal growth, and there we can actually interact. I'm looking forward to it. Thanks guys.
