60: Why High Achieving Entrepreneurs Feel Like Frauds (Even When They’re Winning)

Behind Their Success: Ep 60

Paden: Kate

Kate: [00:00:00] some of the big speakers we all love today.

And we follow them and what they watching their old stuff is painful. They didn't care. And you could see they didn't care right? Like, don't get in your own way

Paden: Hello everybody. Welcome back to Behind Their Success Podcast. We have on today Katie Ressler. She is a relationship strategist and therapist with 15 years of experience. She grew up in the US, but now her family lives in Germany with their three daughters. She works with busy professionals, helping them with their marriages and relationships.

Katie, welcome on Behind Their Success. 

Kate: Thank you for having me. I'm looking forward to chatting with you today. Yeah, Katie. 

 So can you tell us about, your business currently what is kind of what does that even look like? 

Yeah, that is a great question. Because when you move to another country in which your license is not recognized and your education is like, okay, it's not really right.

Right? Like, And you're thinking, no, I have more experience [00:01:00] than a lot of your therapists that are coming out in the world. But okay, you have to adapt. And so when we moved here, I honestly didn't think I could work. I wasn't quite sure that would that be, um, I was pregnant with our second. So I knew I'd be taking some time off anyways.

And here in Europe, especially in Germany, you get a year of maternity leave that's paid. So that was beautiful to like, yeah. Have some freedom and flexibility. my husband is an entrepreneur as well. So he was coming into that position, as I was taking some time off and it was one of those, you've had these moments where you just in the right place at the right time, and it's like a random place.

And we were at a playground and there was a fellow. Marriage and family therapist, older man there with his grandchild speaking English, which, you know, in a German neighborhood, you're like the one English speaker, let's go be friends. And my husband started talking to him and he's like, kid, you have to come over here.

And I was like. What do you mean? He's like, you have to come up here. So I start talking to him and he's like, yeah, I'm actually doing research on [00:02:00] couples and would love for you to come and help translate it and make sure that it's applicable to couples in the States or Canada or Australia, wherever. And I was like, yes, but I have to have a baby first.

He's like, I need some time on the German end of the research. Don't worry. Um, and so I contacted him when I was ready and I started. Okay. With my foot in the door here doing that, just supporting him in his own journey. And then he's like, you know, you can, you can do workshops. there's things you can do here. And I was like, Oh, okay, well, sure. I love to teach. I love to speak. I'll do it. And I started, leading workshops for couples and individuals. And then was like, I'm allowed to do counseling here. Because that word in therapy don't mean the same here. Okay, I'm going to do counseling and or coaching, right?

And, and I just was like, let me just jump into this. And from that amazing experiences have happened. I, one of the beautiful things about being as a couples therapist is you're really good at [00:03:00] helping people learn communication skills and relationship dynamics and personality differences.

And so companies. I just want you to come and speak and talk to their managers and talk to their teams. And so I started doing that for really big companies here in Munich and internationally, and during COVID it was needed. They needed a marriage and family therapist to talk about how do we work from home with kids without all going insane?

Right? How do we make this work when we're both working? So I started doing workshops on that. Continued my counseling. wrote 2 books have a podcast. You know, the beauty of online is how diverse we can get with our companies. And whereas in the States, I probably would have stayed in private practice.

I might have spoken at things, but yeah, I wouldn't have had these opportunities. So moving to. An international city and having to be faced with, I don't know if I can work again, or at least not in the way I thought gave me the capacity to think outside the box and to be open to opportunities that came my [00:04:00] way and imposter syndrome got me every step like it was like, Ooh, I'm not enough.

Ooh, I can't. I, I was invited to speak on a stage in Austria at a big conference. And, um, With like huge CEOs of companies, all this stuff. And I was like, who am I? And it was like, no, actually stood my own, loved it, had great feedback. Every, you know, one of the most popular talks people came to because it was on burnout.

Who else? You know, so we're all going through. 

Paden: you know, it's awesome. Like You know, I can tell just. Meeting you for the whole 15 minutes. I've known you that you're super, super social and dynamic, right?

Or around that. but the downside of that is, you know, I'm very social person as well. The downside of that is imposter syndrome. You very, you, you really care what other people think. despite like all the, all us not wanting to care, think it's, yeah, that is a tendency of somebody that's very, very social.

So that's something I struggle with [00:05:00] a lot of imposter syndrome. You know, I don't know, 10 years ago, they, people gave me a teaching job at a college and I'm like, what are you doing? Why are you giving me that? But it's, it's the same thing. But like when you step into that, you grow and you step right into it and 

Kate: Yeah, and I think the other piece of the puzzle is not only do you have imposter syndrome, but because we're ambitious, typically when you decide to really step into this world or this lifestyle, I'll call it, you will say yes to a lot of things because it sounds cool and it sounds right. And sometimes you get to the end of the yellow brick road and you're like, eh, it's not what I thought.

Right. Or. You meet people who have hit the end of the yellow brick road, like I want to be there. And then you meet them and you're like, maybe not, maybe, maybe this is not kind of like the physics. Maybe these are not my people. Maybe this isn't my, my way of being. So there's a lot about this journey that I think is learning about yourself and also checking your ego and your [00:06:00] dreams and going.

What's my, why does it really make sense? You know, publishing a book, having a podcast, whatever these things I had to really look at my why, because it takes a lot of work effort. But then at the end of it, what is it? I'm looking to get out of it. And how do I pull away my sense of worth and my confidence in myself away from those things because they get knocked down on a regular basis if you put them, if you marry them right with those projects, because stuff's going to fail stuff's not going to work out or you're going to reach again the end of the yellow brick road and be like, that's not as exciting as I thought it would be.

Paden: Yeah. And, and, you know, it's, pulling your identity away from the result or the outcome and really attaching, you know, I really try to attach my identity to the process of like, you know, I'm a person that does these activities. Right. And it's and that ultimately stacks up [00:07:00] to hopefully the outcome I'm wanting. 

Kate: Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and I love that you said that like attaching to the journey because that's where the growth happens and it's, it's, I always think of it like caterpillar, cocoon, butterfly, caterpillar, cocoon, butterfly.

We all want to be at the butterfly stage and stay there, but that's not life. Life is the continual cycle. So as soon as you're a butterfly, you're back in the caterpillar stage, right? Like, what else do I have to learn? 

Paden: Yeah. Yeah. As soon as you're a butterfly. And then, you know, you get, that's, that's an amazing thing.

As soon as you get what you want. You know, we are so wired to, okay, what's the next thing? you know, entrepreneurs are even wired to that, whatever. So many of them are just like, they don't even, tap the brake to slow down to celebrate anything they've been working towards for, for years.

At least that's, you know, my tendency. it's so important to, to attach to the process and then also. You know, reward yourself a little bit. 

Kate: Definitely. And honestly, this is a big reason why I started [00:08:00] working with like high achieving busy couples and they tend to be entrepreneurs was because there needs to be a difference in how we run our relationship from how we want to run businesses or, check out that next thing and do that next thing.

It's like understanding relationship growth doesn't always have those. Big shoots up and we, we go for those dopamine highs. Like we love the dopamine. We want the, like the next thing, the next thing and the next thing. And it was funny as I was sort of like deciding which group of people they kind of came to me, it, it, it, they attracted, I was attracting them, right?

Like 

Paden: yourself and then you attract your people. 

Kate: Absolutely. Absolutely. And in that niche down even further to those who've been together for 10 plus years, because we're in that phase of. Am I really happy? Is this really what I want? Is this growing the way I want it to? And I think of that as well in our businesses.

There's a point where we hit, where we go, even in our journey, is this what I want? Like, [00:09:00] what is next? What would be better? What would be that growth? And can I learn how to live in the maintenance phase? And not always optimize because sometimes we mess up our business growth by trying to like jump and the same kind of with our relationship where we try to like push it further than it's ready.

Yeah, Or that we need because again, we're, we're hitting, I need that dopamine. I need that, that rush, that big thing. So it's, it's been fun to be on my own business journey and see how it correlates to the work I do. It's great for examples. Right? Like, when you work with a couple and you're like, you know, how, when you have that experience, you know, like imposter syndrome, how do you feel that in your relationship when new skills come, right?

You get to like, weave it all together and it creates a vocabulary for all of us to better understand what we're learning, right? Like, Oh, I've got that from my own work experience. And now I can apply that in my relationship. And it, it does, it interacts a lot. 

Paden: Well, yeah, I mean, there's no, we like to act like they're separate parts of [00:10:00] life or whatever, but there, there really isn't.

I mean, it's all. It's all one life, right? you know, really what's helped me in that area you know, I'm part of a mastermind group, business owners kind of all over the country, but of course, a lot of our focus is business and strategy around business.

It's, it's about women in all areas. I mean, we spend a ton of time on marriage work, you know, relationship with children, all that kind of stuff, because. It really is, it, it all, all tied together. You know, there's so many entrepreneurs that have an amazing business. the divorce rates and entrepreneurs are, are, are sky high yeah. Because they can't stop chasing that dopamine hit, 

Kate: Yeah, well, and counselors are the same. We have a very high end psychologist, psychiatrist. We have a high divorce rate too. Cause if you think about where it's, it's like the business thing, right? We're, we're always growing.

We're always learning. We're always. It's kind of unrealistic to expect your partner to be that way too, constantly. So how to find that middle ground. but I love that you're part of a mastermind that does that. I think that's so [00:11:00] essential that when we come together with fellow business owners to recognize, honestly, we can't feel successful in life if things at home don't feel good.

It's, it's like a holistic perspective on our health involves relationship health too, and our businesses health. Yeah.

Entrepreneurs are cut from a different cloth, right? Like it's just a different way. When you think of like the level 10 life or like the circle of life or the career. And this or that, 

Paden: right. 

Kate: The relationships and your personal growth. And I'm just like, career needs to be a way bigger wedge for entrepreneurs.

It needs to like, and it impacts vacations. It impacts, you know, free time, personal growth. Cause our personal growth tends to be focused on. Growing our business in the context of us being the leader of it. So, it is very interwoven. Yeah. 

Paden: So Katie, just, you know, kind of turn in the conversation a little bit to you.

 what do you think is the best skill that's led to your success so far? 

Kate: Ooh, I'm going to say two things. The first one is the [00:12:00] willingness to answer the call. So when someone is out there saying, you know, I need help or I have a question or, you know, a big way that I, I grew was when I first moved here, just in that first year again, I didn't think I could work answering questions on Facebook and private groups.

For fellow moms, for fellow expats living over here, even back in the States, some of the groups I was a part of when people ask questions, like just being willing to answer those calls. Like, Hey, does anybody know how to do this? I can't fix it for you. And I can't be a therapist in a little response, but I can definitely point you in the right direction.

Right. And then I can become that person that you think of when you see another question in the future. And then I'm in a sense tagged, right. Or, you know, like. There, there's a network building and all I did was answer the call. It's the same with the first time that I got, to speak at a company. 

 it's just answer the call. That's, that's the biggest thing because it's very easy for us to think of the no and why it's a no. [00:13:00] And I'm not qualified. I've never done this before. You want me to teach any what, you know, like, or you say. There must be a reason. Let's see.

Answer the call. And then the second piece is just building those relationships, right? And it's the network. It's the people you keep around you. it's being a person of integrity and being authentic and. Opening up to mistakes, you know, if I say something incorrectly to somebody, or I, if I offend them honoring and respecting that, but, you know, okay, but also being willing to learn from it.

So that's been, I think those 2 things, answering the call and building the network has helped me grow my business because when you think of. you know, for a long time, I really focused in on grief and hidden grief around burnout. Then when people would hear somebody talking about that, they referenced my book, they'd share my podcast, they would, you know, like I became in the forefront of their mind because I was willing to answer the call [00:14:00] and build that network.

And I think that's. As a service based provider, that's all I can do. Right. You know, like I have to build those relationships. Those are so important. 

Paden: Yeah. And that's, um, I a hundred percent agree with everything you say there would, you know, to, to kind of, I guess, move forward or achieve success. It's, you know, answering the call and building the network.

you know, it took me years and years, but like eventually, you know, I really started putting myself out there, right. You know, in a thought authentic, helpful way, building networks through social media and online. And now like, you know, what's amazing thing is like, A huge percent of the people I work with, they'll never be in my office.

Like, well, you know, I'm all over the country, right? And it's, it's really cool that even more now, it's like, because I've built this awesome network of fantastic people and just being a helpful person that like, I can go to almost any major city now in the United States and be like, Hey, you know, I'm in town.

Anybody want to have lunch? Like, and I'll have some, right? Like it's somebody in my [00:15:00] network, which is, it's such a cool thing. And then. You know, talking about what your specialty is, you know, yours is relationship. A lot of mine is tax and money and whatnot, but you stay top of mind. 

Kate: Definitely.

And, and putting yourself out there, like there's a podcast, right? There's that social media presence, just not being afraid to be out there, not being afraid what people would think of how you look or how you sound or, you know, oh, I'm not really good at that. I'm not good at talking on the moment or whatever.

Okay. But you have to practice to get there anyways. And I really love going back and looking at fellow service based providers when they were first starting their business, right? Yeah. And watching their videos and being like, God, that's awful. You know, like some of the big speakers we all love today.

And we follow them and what they watching their old stuff is painful. They didn't care. And you could see they didn't care because they were like, I'm, I'm here. I'm getting in it. And they'll tell you it was really uncomfortable in the beginning. You, you feel that [00:16:00] energy, but it's just, don't be your own mountain, right?

Like, don't get in your own way. Of being able to answer the call, to be present, to be, you know, in, in people's minds, to be there and to build that network. I love LinkedIn to go, Hey, tell me more about yourself. And, and unfortunately, nowadays people use it in such a way that people are like, Oh, you're being creepy.

But I'm like. and I will say the one thing, which is hilarious. it's the same as a therapist on the airplane. We all know this. It's the same with sadly LinkedIn and things and networking is you have to be very careful once you say what you do, because it's like.

Oh, when you're on the airplane for two hours, they're going to be like, Oh, you're a therapist. Oh, I've gone to therapy once. Right. And you get all this stuff, but I've done that with LinkedIn too, where it's like, Hey, let's have a coffee chat. Let's, you know, get to know each other. And then I just sat there and I was like, well, that was a therapy session.

I mean, I didn't mean to ask a question in a certain way, but I guess I asked questions in a [00:17:00] certain way. I don't know. Right. So, so sometimes there are boundaries around our networking that we need to do, but in general, being able to not be afraid to reach out to connect in order to authentically build relationships and then just see where it goes.

Paden: Yeah. Add value, right? Just, just adding value to relationships. But yeah, no, as, the CPA tax guy, everybody has a tax question, so I can a hundred percent relate to the airplane thing, uh, for sure.

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So, you know, kind of, you know, your best skills, you know, we kind of talked about that. point to one decision that you credit as like your best decision you've 

Kate: Moving to Germany. Oh, my husband would love that. He's German. So yes, moving to Germany, I stepped really outside my comfort zone in a lot of ways and continue to be outside of my comfort zone. And I attribute that to why I'm so willing to. Take risks and not just do the private practice thing and, you know, to look at Esther Perel and Brene Brown and the Gottman's and say, yep, I can go that path.

Right? Like, there's no [00:19:00] reason not to I don't have to stay in my little. Office with a couch in the chair and just tell me how you feel. I really can actually grow things. but I don't, I honestly, like I said, I don't know that I would have done that had I not gotten out of my comfort zone and moved countries.

I don't think everybody who's listening needs to go do that. I mean, it's not for everybody, but it definitely was probably the most pivotal. Peace on a personal growth and a professional growth level. 

Paden: And I think two points, you know, I would make from, from that statement is like one, I think people don't realize how powerful it is to change your environment when you're trying to change habits or whatnot.

Like, you know, why does the alcoholic, you know, give up alcohol when they're in, you know, rehab or whatever, whether in a totally different environment. And as soon as they go back to their old environment, well, there's triggers everywhere and trying to stay sober at that point is super hard. So changing environments is huge.

Um, and it could be changing something in your room or decorations like those [00:20:00] things matter to humans a whole lot more than we even give it credit for, 

Kate: Definitely. I mean, going to a coffee shop instead of being in your home office, like going to a work share plate, like something that changes. That your mind goes, oh, there's something new.

Yeah, something different. Yeah. 

Paden: Yeah. Oh yeah. So, you know, changing environment, you know, and, and the, the other part of that is you made this one big move, right? And it, it stretched you and it made you uncomfortable. But then as you, you, you face that next challenge, you realize, I have evidence that I've done this before.

Right? Yep. And it went well. And now you can take that evidence into every other, next, you know, uncomfortable situation and like, no. Yeah. I can do this. I've done this before and it's. Yeah, that's so important. 

Kate: Yes. Yes. I agree with that. I would say the, the second biggest thing that like decision that was really huge was being willing to take a break from couples counseling for a period of time.

So during the pandemic, that first year I was still seeing couples and I was pregnant with our third. So it was quite a time. [00:21:00] And, um, I burned out from, you know, there's couples in crisis when they're finally stuck at home together and facing things. And I took a Three year pause from seeing couples.

And I started doing that focus on grief and burnout. And that came at the loss of my own mother. And we had had miscarriages before our third child came. And so it was just, that was so, you know, again, you are your own, you're, you're living the work you should be doing. Um, and so I focused on that. I wrote the books, I did the things.

And it came back into the world of couples when I was working with a woman. And she said, is there any chance you'd be willing to see me and my partner because you've helped me so much and I know you've got the, like, you know, what would help the 2 of us? And I was like, well, again, I had had so much education and experience as a couple's therapist.

But in that moment of just a 3 year pause, I was like. I don't know. I've been out of the game for [00:22:00] so feels like couples therapy research has jumped.

And I was like, I'm so glad I took a break though, because when you're in something for too long, you miss things. You don't see it as creatively anymore, you, you know, you're, you're not challenging yourself anymore. And so taking that break and then coming back in and being like, whoa, 

 it brought things to a whole nother level. It brought things to a place where I was even challenging myself to like, I mean, I was going to trainings and like, I didn't want to do what other therapists were doing or the big guys are teaching.

I wanted to incorporate it into the theory I had. Of what works for my niche and that has been awesome, but I needed that pause. So that would be the second big decision was like, take, don't be afraid to take a pause but I was afraid what other people would think of me and I was especially afraid what they'd think when I came back 

So it's like that confidence that you, the decisions you make are for a reason. And again, don't get in your own way, but like [00:23:00] you can pivot, you can pause. You can go back. It's okay. 

Paden: Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's great advice there. Um, you know, I, it's awesome every time I have conversations, you know, I'm doing this podcast and it's like therapy for me all the time when I'm doing it or, or, you know, I'm talking to myself all the time when I'm, you know, when I'm doing this stuff, but it's an interesting path.

So, you know, kind of, kind of on the flip side of that, Katie. tell us about a big mistake, right? 

Kate: Yeah, I think a big mistake was there was a point in the beginning of my business here where in a very loving, let's bring us together manner.

I brought my husband in and said, will you help me? With the business strategy part of this, will you help me with like, you know, marketing all these things, the plan, not the not the doing it and that I would say was a mistake because it definitely created a rift between us even years later. You can feel the sandpaper when certain [00:24:00] conversations come up that have nothing to do with right now, right?

Like it's all from that past. I know at that time, my thought process and getting my partner on board was so that we could share in this, right? He's he's a business owner too, but it's product based very different. He's got a production line. Like, he just, he's the CEO running it. it's a different type of business. and so that's where, like, he would speak to me at that kind of university level NBA type level. And I'd be like, I don't know what you're talking about. But if we want to talk about reprogramming neural pathways, we can, you know, like, let's have that discussion with me.

Right? Like, so that's where it was hard. I wish at that point I had invested in a, Okay. Coach or strategist or someone who could sit down with me and say, let's talk about what a business plan looks like and a marketing plan and what these mean, not just ideas of them, but like put it in [00:25:00] action, stick with it because then, as much as I love to learn by doing, I do believe there are some things, you know, we can learn from each other and it saves.

Some of the despair and frustration and the, I want to quit because it's usually just a couple pieces of the puzzle we're missing that make us feel that way. And as soon as we've got the right person in the network or whatever to come in and go, oh, no, no, you have these pieces. You just put them over here and it doesn't.

Match. You put them over here and it fits in. It's like, ah, sometimes that doesn't work for couples, right? Sometimes we, we can't hear from our partner and get that feedback and that can cause problems. And I would say that was probably probably a mistake in the sense of I wish it would do it differently.

You know, if I could go back, I'd be like, don't don't great idea. See the reasoning. Probably not different personality types, right? Different. We're both firstborn. [00:26:00] We're both, you know, go getters, different cultures, 

Paden: different cultures, 

Kate: different way of, you know, speaking business, all of these things. And I didn't take all that into account.

And there is something about investing in your own support externally that has, they don't know you, but they know business. And they're willing to get to know you and your business to support you rather than your partner who's like, I think you should do it this way. This is how you should do it. This is the way.

And I'm like, but it's not a product based business. 

Paden: Yeah. 

you know, it'd be fully transparent. Yeah. my wife's a pretty high driving lady herself. you know, you look a personality test even more so than me. it's tough for us sometimes because we we both have our visions it's often better for us to run and each chase her own things.

and then come back together and be like, cool, look what we, you know, look what we did. 

Kate: Right. Cheer, cheerlead each other on. Right. Instead of like, let me try to fix it for you. And you're like, no, no, 

Paden: my wife doesn't want me to come in and [00:27:00] fixing stuff for her. And, and I really don't want it the other way either.

Like, let me just jump in. So, yeah, but, but the other point is too, is like, I think the, the big issue you have there is like not finding a person that can just show you the way, right. Or that right person, like, and that's kind of the whole point of this show is to.

Show people the way, or all of us to share our mistakes, so like, you don't have to run into the same wall I did, or the same wall Katie did, like, and bang your head against the same thing. It's like, hey, we banged our head against it, look, we found this path, go around it, don't do 

Kate: Yeah, and most of us went to school for certain fields that weren't, and let me tell you how to run the business of doing that by yourself.

Right. They like shaped us to go and work for someone else. 

Paden: Yeah. Yeah. And be a part of that business. Yes. 

Kate: Yes. So most of us are having to learn this and it's just beautiful to find those mentors who are several steps ahead that can be like, Ooh, hold on. You're going to want to have a clear plan of who you want to serve or what you want to do or what, you know, instead of just being like, I'm [00:28:00] here.

Paden: Yeah. And you know, like, you know, guy with all kinds of degrees and certifications here, it's like, yeah, but. But it really was all money and numbers focused. Like I was a guy that really had to dive in and understand marketing at a deeper and deeper level and branding and all those things.

And just all the different areas of the business. Yeah. I understood numbers and money and that kind of stuff, but like. There's several other pillars of the business. Like if you want to have successful business, you need to understand that you don't have to know, you don't have to be the expert, but you need to understand it well enough that you can hand it off to somebody else and be able to trust and let them, and, you know, trust and verify that they're, they, they got, you don't need to know everything, but you need to have a good idea.

Kate: Absolutely. And I do think that's one of those things that is kind of a good sort of segue into talking about like. When is it time to hire? When is it time to have the support staff? Whether you, you hire someone or you outsource, just being aware that you kind of need to know what it is before you just give it [00:29:00] off to them.

You can't just be run 

Paden: away from something. 

Kate: Yes, exactly. And that's really easy to do, especially in the online space, right? Like, Oh, I don't really get this online marketing or these ads or whatever. Like, let me know. You do need to know what you're doing to some degree, because there's checks and balances.

You do need to go. Is this working for me? Is it not?

and again, most of us didn't go to school to learn how to manage people.

And when you take on a team and when you start to have people, you are having to do that. You're having to. Manage them and lead them. And so it's a whole nother level of learning as well. So this journey, you're never, you never stopped learning. It's wonderful to have those mentors to guide you, but also to do, you know, the work learning as well, whether it be reading, listening to podcasts like this, watching videos, those types of things.

I mean, this is also where masterminds are really key because hearing other people's, Oh, you know, I have this question and you're like, well, I didn't have that question, but now I actually do. And I realized. That's what I've been sitting on and couldn't [00:30:00] figure out. 

Paden: Yeah. Yeah. It's around yourself. Great people, especially people that, you know, you never want to be the smartest or furthest along in the room, right?

Just, just people that are, they're way further along in all the different areas. So you can just gleam everything you can. 

Kate: Yes, yes, definitely. And I think eventually, well, I know eventually you become that person too, for other people, right? That's when we get asked a lot of questions. Yeah. And 

Paden: that's fine, It's fine to even have a groups where maybe you're the leader and then other groups where you're just full blown student and you're feeding both ways, right? 

Kate: Yeah, there is a place I think where we get where we need to be giving back and that's a legacy work as well.

Right? Let me help those who are behind me and so that I also get the affirmation of. Yes. Like, I have reached this point and have the group that's ahead of you so that it's never, it's never enough. 

Paden: So one more, one more question for you, Katie. I know you going back to, okay, you just showed up in [00:31:00] Germany, right? What is one piece of advice you'd give yourself, um, from your perspective today? 

Kate: Oh, good question. You know, I think I would give myself one, I would say, go learn German better now before you start working you start working. Go learn better.

I mean, I was learning, but like, really get more intense into it. but as far as like, personal growth and business, I don't think I would tell myself anything because anything I would tell myself is butterfly effect. Right? Yeah. Back to the 

Paden: future stuff here. Right? 

Kate: honestly would probably just say it will all work out.

Yeah. Like, because I would never have been able to. I mean, you can't predict losing your mom unexpectedly. You can't predict a lot of the challenges and things you've you're going to face. Like, you can't predict business and what's going to happen in cobit as a counselor. Right? And the. The types of trauma people are going to experience in that time.

So, but it is going to all be okay. And I think one of the greatest tips I [00:32:00] could, I could go back and say is every so often do a review and what are your takeaways from what you're learning right now in this phase of life? And I like to do that every birthday. Like what in this last year did I learn?

What are the things I might bring with me? And you can do it in the new year, but I think there's, it's something essential to integrating because we are the type. That we hit the goal, we jump to the next one and we don't stop and go, what did I learn? What am I taking with me? What are these skills? And sometimes we end up having to repeat them because we didn't integrate them.

So that would be something I would say is like, really get in the habit of like, if I go back to old Katie, pregnant at that playground going, I would say 1, it's all going to work out and start integrating what you're learning. Every year or so, and that I think is this key. 

Paden: Yeah, and I think it's just all of that is really just taking the intentionality to another level, right?

Like having, having intentionality behind really everything you're doing and, [00:33:00] and really evaluating everything. Like you say, it's like, is this serving me? You know, it's one, one knowing your goals, right? And then evaluating everything in your life. And it's like, does this serve me to get closer to that or further away from it?

Kate: Oh, I totally agree. And sometimes when you do that review, you still won't have the answers. Like I, I, I started an organization here for entrepreneurs, for women who speak English a few years ago.

And then I got a team to help me co lead. It was just volunteer based. And then there was time for me to step back. And there was a while there where I was like, why did, what was the why in that? Like, I loved it when I, but then I stepped away and I was like, okay, well. What was it? And it took a couple of years of stepping away for me to go, ah, that's what I was learning there.

Yes. That helped with networking and stuff, but there was something like on a bigger level, I hadn't figured out what I learned in that process. When that came clear, I was like, okay, I'm [00:34:00] bringing that with me. Every new thing I do along the way. So don't get disheartened. If you're like there, I don't even, I still don't know why I did that.

Just wait. But keep trying to integrate it, keep trying to reflect on it because that is, I mean, it, sometimes, you know, as somebody who works in the field of like helping you heal from things, it takes a while to figure out why things occurred and what you're going to take from them. So, 

Paden: yeah. And, you know, it's, it's going back, you know, the, the cynic in me is like, well.

Just look back and make up whatever story you want, if it serves you. But it's worse, right? Because we can make up whatever story we want, but, I mean, it's really, you know, like I said, it's spending that time with her or whatnot, but just quiet time of reflecting and, and, trying to build that story of like, what does that mean?

And, you know, how does that, how does that integrate into my life? Yeah, that's, that's great stuff. So Katie, it's been a great conversation. I really appreciate you. What is the best way people connect with you or follow you or just to get to know more about you? 

Kate: Yeah. [00:35:00] So, um, I am on LinkedIn and Instagram and Facebook at Katie Ressler.

You don't have to put the dots above the O. You don't have to put the umlaut. you can check out my website, www.katierossler.com. And, if there are other high achievers listening, I'm guessing, I have a goal setting workbook for couples that teach them how to do that properly.

And not just. You know, what do you want? What do you want? Okay. How do they come together? But really how to bring them together. So I'll make sure you have that information, but Katie rustler. com is the best way to connect with me. 

Paden: Awesome. Katie, I appreciate so much listeners. you got a lot of value here.

we'll catch you next time.

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. If you found it valuable, please rate, review, and share it. That is the best way to help us build this and reach more people as we're trying to accomplish our goal of help creating more healthy, wealthy, and wise entrepreneurs. You can follow us on social media by searching for me @padensquires or going to www.padensquires.com On the website and social media, we're always sharing tips of personal growth, and there we can actually interact. [00:36:00] I'm looking forward to it. Thanks guys.